From a young age, as neurodivergent individuals, we may be told that our natural ways of navigating the world are incorrect and that we need to be fixed.
If we didn’t act according to societal standards, we may have been excluded, mocked, or called names, such as ‘lazy’, ‘weird ', or ‘deviant '.
As a result, many of us learned to mask or to hide, suppress, or change our natural behaviours to fit expected societal norms.
This masking may have continued into adulthood as a protective coping mechanism to feel safe, accepted, understood, or less likely to experience criticism or judgment. Later in life, this can show up in the workplace.
There may be times when we spend hours preparing for a 30-minute meeting because we want to make sure we know exactly what to say.
Maybe we learned to carefully monitor our tone, facial expressions, body language, and reactions at work because we don’t want people to think that we are rude or unprofessional.
Even if we are already overloaded with our current workload, we may still regularly say ‘yes’ to extra tasks so that we don’t make anyone else feel uncomfortable.
Perhaps we work longer hours, double-check everything, or put pressure on ourselves not to make mistakes.
As we mask, other people may say that we look organized, reliable, professional, or successful. They may feel as if we are well put-together and have everything going for us.
However, internally, we may be struggling with challenges that go unnoticed.
For many of us neurodivergent adults, the workday does not just involve the tasks listed within our job description.
We may be navigating many challenges that are common among neurodivergent individuals, including executive functioning challenges, communication differences, social expectations, emotional regulation, and the pressure to behave in ways that feel acceptable to the people around us. Dealing with these challenges along with masking our authentic selves can be downright exhausting.
At our neurodiversity-affirming occupational therapy clinic in Canada, we support ADHD adults in understanding how our brains interact with our environments, responsibilities, routines, relationships, and workplaces.
A neurodiversity-affirming occupational therapist can help us explore executive functioning, sensory needs, emotional regulation, workplace demands, self-advocacy, accommodations, and practical strategies that work with our brains rather than constantly requiring us to work against them.
In this edition of our neurodivergent blog, we'll explore what masking is, why it can happen in the workplace, what neurodivergent masking can look like, how it can contribute to exhaustion and burnout, strategies that may help, and how occupational therapy can provide support.
What Is Neurodivergent Masking?
Masking involves consciously or unconsciously hiding, suppressing, or changing aspects of ourselves to fit societal expectations and be accepted.
In the workplace, this may look like forcing eye contact, hiding sensory discomfort, speaking in a less blunt way, suppressing stimming, hiding our emotions, and monitoring our behaviour so that we appear to fit into dominant societal norms surrounding how we should act (neuronormativity).
We may smile through meetings, deliver results, meet deadlines, and engage in small talk, even though we are quietly navigating struggles that others may not see.
Related: Adult ADHD Symptoms: The Hidden Struggles Beyond Focus
Why Does Masking Happen in the Workplace?
There isn’t one universal reason for why neurodivergent adults mask. But there are several factors that neurodivergent people bring up when talking about why they may mask.
For some of us, we may have grown up constantly being criticized, bullied, excluded, and misunderstood. We may have experienced discrimination at school, and this may have led to us hiding who we are so that we don’t have to experience rejection again.
Masking became a coping mechanism that continued into adulthood to ensure that we fit into the workplace. We may mask at work because we naturally want to be accepted by our managers and those that we work with.
Another reason for masking may be the internalization of what society defines as a professional employee. Society often associates professionalism with:
Maintaining eye contact
Sitting still
Responding quickly
Appearing confident
Staying calm
Being flexible
Remembering instructions
Managing multiple priorities
Working independently
Knowing when to speak
Knowing when not to speak
Since neurodivergent individuals are more likely to face challenges with these expectations, we may mask as a way to compensate and hide our struggles.
How Neurodivergent Masking Can Show Up at Work
Masking looks different depending on the person who is engaging in it.
For example, masking can look like being overly social for one person, but it may involve being quiet for another.
We may also move between different forms of masking depending on the situation, our stress levels, and how safe we feel.
Let's explore some common experiences.
The Over-Prepared Employee
We spend extra time before meetings, presentations, or tasks rehearsing what we will say, how we will respond, and how we want to appear.
This over-preparation can look like writing out talking points, predicting questions, rehearsing conversations in our heads, or preparing multiple responses in case something unexpected happens.
This preparation can help us manage uncertainty and feel more in control.
For ADHDers, it may also help compensate for difficulties with working memory, impulsivity, organizing thoughts, or remembering information under pressure.
For autistic employees, preparation may help reduce uncertainty around social expectations or unpredictable interactions.
The problem is that preparation itself takes energy.
We may spend the first part of the workday preparing to participate in the rest of the workday.
The Always “On” Professional
We monitor our tone, facial expressions, body language, volume, eye contact, and responses throughout the workday.
Trying to look like the always “on” professional can show up as reminding ourselves to look interested during meetings, avoiding fidgeting, suppressing stimming, or carefully controlling our emotional reactions.
Others may look at us and see a professional employee. But internally, we may be struggling. Our brains may constantly be asking several questions, including:
Am I making enough eye contact?
Am I talking too much?
Did that sound rude?
Am I reacting appropriately?
Do I look interested?
Did I interrupt?
Was my tone okay?
This constant self-monitoring can become exhausting.
The Over-Accommodating Coworker
We say ‘yes’ to extra tasks, help coworkers frequently, volunteer for additional responsibilities, or take on more than our capacity allows.
Sometimes, saying ‘yes’ may actually be what we genuinely want to do. However, there are times when saying ‘no’ feels much harder than saying ‘yes.’
If we say ‘no,’ we may worry that we are disappointing people, losing approval, or that we will be perceived as difficult.
Eventually, our willingness to accommodate everyone else can come at the expense of our own capacity.
The Quiet or Non-Disruptive Employee
The quiet or non-disruptive employee may look like the one who speaks up in meetings, asks questions, shares ideas, or requests clarification unless absolutely necessary.
This could occur because we may need time to process what was said. However, we may also not speak up because we were taught that asking questions results in judgment, so staying quiet felt safer.
Silence can be a strategy for navigating an environment that feels socially or cognitively demanding.
The High-Functioning Overworker
We consistently work longer hours, over-prepare, double-check everything, or spend much more time on tasks than other people realize.
For some ADHDers, this can become a way of compensating for forgetfulness, distractibility, time blindness, task initiation difficulties, or organizational challenges.
We may think:
“If I check this again, I won't make a mistake.”
“If I work late, nobody will notice how long this took.”
“If I prepare enough, I won't get caught off guard.”
“If I finish everything early, I won't disappoint anyone.”
This can lead to praise and positive performance reviews.
It can also lead to chronic stress and burnout.
The “Easygoing” Employee
Easygoing can show up as suppressing our needs, discomfort, or sensory overwhelm because we don't want to be seen as difficult.
Even if the office is too loud, the lighting is uncomfortable, or our schedule is constantly changing without warning, we may continue to tolerate all of this without saying anything. This could be because we feel that asking for support feels like we are creating a problem.
From the outside, we may look flexible and reliable. Internally, we may be using significant energy to tolerate the environment.
The Over-Apologizer at Work
If we are considered the over-apologizer at work, we may frequently apologize for delays, mistakes, needing clarification, or taking up other people’s time.
Constantly apologizing can become an automatic response as a result of previous experiences of being criticized for behaviours related to our neurodivergence.
The Invisible Burnout Employee
From the outside, others may see us as the productive one who always attends meetings, completes the work, answers emails, and meets deadlines.
Behind the scenes, maintaining that performance takes nearly all of our available capacity, and when the workday ends, we may have very little energy left to do anything else.
This exhaustion can show up differently depending on the individual, but some common experiences include:
Exhaustion after work
Shutdowns
Sensory overwhelm
Difficulty completing basic tasks at home
Needing significant recovery time
Irritability or emotional overwhelm
Sleeping excessively
Avoiding social activities
Struggling with household responsibilities
The workplace may see the completed work, but it may not see what it took to produce it.
The Hidden Cost of Masking
In the short-term, masking can potentially help us navigate difficult situations and avoid exclusion. We may be able to communicate and navigate environments that contain strict expectations.
The concern is that, in the long-term, masking can become the primary way we function, and this isn’t sustainable.
A workday might involve completing our responsibilities while simultaneously:
Monitoring our behaviour
Managing sensory input
Remembering social expectations
Suppressing stimming
Regulating emotions
Compensating for executive functioning challenges
Anticipating criticism
Trying not to make mistakes
As a result, we may experience burnout and low self-esteem.
Related: What Is The ADHD Tax: Why Everyday Life Can Feel More Exhausting and Exhausting for ADHDers
Masking and Workplace Burnout
Long-term masking can cause us to use up all of our energy to appear capable, rather than having the energy to complete tasks. Masking can become especially difficult when it continues without enough opportunities for recovery.
We may mask all day long and try to hold everything together, only to experience a significant drop in energy when we get home. This is sometimes referred to as after-work restraint collapse.
Over time, this can contribute to chronic stress and burnout because we have little or no time to recover from repeatedly pushing through during the day
If you are in a state of neurodivergent burnout, you may notice that the things that you used to be able to manage easily now feel impossible.
For example, a short meeting or answering an email may have been slightly overwhelming before, but you may now be so exhausted and overwhelmed that you can’t do these tasks at all.
Guilt and shame are also quite frequent when we are experiencing burnout. We may blame ourselves for not being able to get things done without realizing how much energy our work environment is consuming.
Related: Why Burnout Feels Different When You’re Neurodivergent
What Happens When We Stop Masking?
Unmasking is the gradual process of stopping the suppression of our natural neurodivergent traits and behaviour.
Although the idea of unmasking may sound simple, it is easier for some than others, and it is important to acknowledge that it isn’t always safe or realistic to completely stop masking in every environment.
For some of us, masking may still be protective, and unmasking may actually cause harm. For example, some people may not be able to stim openly in the workplace because they have been punished for it previously. Perhaps we are worried that disclosing our diagnosis to a coworker could result in being fired because we have seen it happen to other neurodivergent colleagues.
As a result, we may need to choose carefully when and how we communicate our needs.
So, when it comes to unmasking, we are not trying to remove every coping mechanism related to masking.
Instead, we can start asking, Which masking coping mechanisms genuinely help us, and which coping mechanisms are costing us more than they are helping?
We may also ask ourselves, “What environments do we feel safest in to unmask?”
These questions can help us determine which environments we may be able to unmask in and which coping mechanisms we may want to keep versus which ones we may want to work to change.
Even if it is just unmasking by allowing yourself to stim in the bathroom by yourself, this could help by providing you with some time to recover slightly after a long day of masking at work.
Strategies for Reducing the Impact of Workplace Masking
Before we explore how occupational therapy can reduce the impact of workplace masking, we'll delve into some neurodiversity-affirming strategies that can help.
There isn’t one universal strategy that works for all people who mask at work. But we can start by noticing where masking is taking up the most energy and explore what might make these situations easier.
Related: Managing Adult ADHD: Tools and Strategies That Actually Work
1. Notice Where We Are Using the Most Energy
If you are arriving home from work feeling constantly depleted, it may help to pay attention to which aspects of our workday may be leaving us feeling most depleted.
We could use the spoon theory to write down each workplace task, and next to each one, we can note how many units of energy or spoons these tasks take up.
For example, we may note that answering an email may take up 1 unit of energy, whereas verbal social interactions may take up 5 units of energy. These units will differ based on the individual. For someone else, the opposite may be true, and answering emails may take up more energy than verbal social interactions.
Once we have identified the tasks that take up the most energy, this can help us determine which kind of support may help.
2. Identify What We Are Compensating For
There are times when we may be engaging in a particular masking behaviour because there is an underlying need.
If we are over-preparing for meetings, it may be because we need reassurance, as we have been punished in meetings before for not being prepared enough. If we are staying quiet during meetings, it may be because we need extra time to process information.
Understanding the need underneath the behaviour can help us find more sustainable strategies to meet these needs.
3. Build Recovery Into the Workday
If work requires significant self-monitoring, we can build recovery into the workday. Depending on the workplace, this might involve:
Taking short breaks
Stepping into a quieter space
Scheduling focused work between meetings
Avoiding unnecessary back-to-back meetings
Using headphones
Taking time away from screens
Protecting transition time
Waiting until we are completely depleted before recovering can make regulation much harder.
4. Consider What Can Be Externalized
Neurodivergent brains are more prone to forgetfulness, so we may want to rely on external supports to remember and organize things, versus relying on our brain to remember. External supports might include:
Written instructions
Calendars
Visual task lists
Timers
Reminders
Checklists
Project management systems
Templates
Meeting notes
Externalizing information can reduce the amount of cognitive effort required to keep track of everything.
5. Ask for Clarification
If workplace expectations are unclear, when it feels safe, we can ask:
“Could you clarify what you mean?”
“What should I prioritize first?”
“Could you send that to me in writing?”
“What would a successful outcome look like?”
“When would you like this completed?”
Clear information can reduce the amount of guesswork required, which can inturn help to reduce anxiety and the burnout that may result. If it is too anxiety-provoking to ask for clarity in-person, consider writing an email or asking a colleague to ask the question on your behalf.
6. Explore Workplace Accommodations
Under Canadian disability laws, if neurodivergent traits are creating barriers at work, your employer may be required to accommodate your disability.
Accommodations involve changes to the work environment, schedule, or duties that allow an employee to perform their job.
The appropriate accommodations will depend on the individual, workplace, role, and specific barriers involved, but they may include:
Written instructions
Flexible scheduling
Advance notice of changes
Quiet workspaces
Noise-reducing tools
Different communication methods
Clear deadlines
Regular check-ins
Additional processing time
These supports can help reduce the amount of masking and compensation required in the workplace.
Related: Navigating Workplace Accommodations for ADHD and Autism (Without Burning Out)
How Occupational Therapy Can Help With Neurodivergent Masking at Work
Occupational therapy can help us look at the relationship between our neurodivergence, our environment, our routines, and the activities we need or want to participate in.
A neurodiversity-affirming OT can explore what is creating the difficulty in the first place and help you develop strategies to work with your brain, instead of against it. OT can support multiple areas of your workplace life. Let’s explore these below.
Related: What Does Occupational Therapy (OT) for ADHD Look Like?
Executive Functioning Support
Executive functioning involves the mental skills required, such as working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control, that are needed to set, maintain, and achieve goals.
Neurodivergent individuals tend to experience executive dysfunction or challenges with executive functioning skills. Masking can make executive dysfunction more complicated.
An occupational therapist could work with you on executive functioning skills and help you explore strategies for task initiation, working memory, planning, transitions, and managing competing demands.
Occupational therapy can help to reduce unnecessary cognitive load so that we aren’t expected to compensate for our executive functioning challenges indefinitely.
Sensory Support
Workplaces can contain significant sensory demands, such as loud noises, bright lights, and visual distractions.
An OT can help us identify what contributes to sensory overload and explore practical strategies or environmental changes that may make work more accessible.
Emotional Regulation
Masking can require us to suppress or manage emotions throughout the day.
An OT can help us identify early signs of overwhelm and develop strategies for regulating before we reach a point of shutdown or burnout.
Communication and Self-Advocacy
Workplace communication can become difficult when we are constantly trying to figure out what other people expect. OT support may include developing:
Scripts for difficult conversations
Boundary-setting strategies
Ways to ask for clarification
Self-advocacy tools
Communication preferences
Strategies for requesting accommodations
Energy and Capacity Management
Sometimes the task requires more energy than other people realize.
An OT can help us look at where our energy is going throughout the day and develop strategies for distributing our capacity more sustainably.
Related: ADHD Hacks That Actually Help: Accessibility Strategies for Adult ADHD
Workplace Accommodations
An OT can also help us identify potential workplace accommodations based on the barriers we are experiencing.
This may involve looking at the interaction between our individual needs and our workplace environment rather than assuming that we simply need to “try harder” or become more organized.
Sustainable Routines
Work is part of our lives, not separate from it. If we are using nearly all of our capacity to get through the workday, there may be little left for other responsibilities, like eating, hobbies, relationships, rest, and household chores.
OT can help us look at the bigger picture and create routines that account for the energy work actually requires.
Related: ADHD and Unstructured Time: Why Is It So Hard to Know What to Do
Neurodiversity-Affirming Occupational Therapy for ADHD in Canada
Neurodivergent masking can help us navigate environments that don't always accommodate our needs. But constantly relying on masking can also leave us exhausted.
Instead of asking how we can become better at hiding our needs, we can explore how to make work more sustainable. A neurodiversity-affirming occupational therapist can help us:
Understand our individual patterns of masking and compensation
Identify executive functioning barriers
Explore sensory needs
Develop emotional regulation strategies
Build sustainable routines
Improve self-advocacy
Explore workplace accommodations
Find practical systems that reduce cognitive load
An OT can help to create enough support that we don't have to spend every workday performing our way through exhaustion.
At The ADHD Space, we provide neurodiversity-affirming occupational therapy for ADHD adults across Canada.
If workplace masking, executive functioning challenges, sensory overwhelm, burnout, or the pressure to constantly “hold it together” are affecting daily life, support is available.
Email admin@adhdspace.ca or book online to learn more.